An excerpt from a 3D2N experience with a disengaged 8-year-old.
Gremlin: A. Pixie, what are you going to do for me? What programmes have you planned for me? How am I going to get entertained?
Canton Pixie: I thought we agreed that we'd do cookies & the icing thingy, and then after I finish my household chores we can do other things, if we still have time.
Gremlin: But I AM VERY BORED! I AM SO BORED! Don't you have any thing for me to play? What's there for me? What's there for me?
[CP does some work on her laptop, replies some email, then quickly rushes to kitchen to hang laundry]
Gremlin: What are you doing?
Canton Pixie: Hanging laundry
Gremlin: Why can't we go to West Mall NOW?
Canton Pixie: I need to finish hanging the laundry so that I can do the next load.
Gremlin: Why can't you do them after I am gone? Why were you on the computer just now? Why couldn't you work on your computer after I'm gone? Why do we have to wait for Little Pixie to have her nap? Why can't you take me to West Mall and leave Little Pixie at home to sleep alone? I want to go to West Mall NOW!
[CP: Gets really irritated]
Canton Pixie: Look, why don't YOU play your computer games after you go home? Why must you play them now?
[Gremlin falls silent, speechless].
Gremlin: A. Pixie, your house is very messy you know? Why don't you clean it up?
Canton Pixie: Have you ever wondered who is the one picking up after you when you eat, bake those cookies, drink water? If I have to choose between cleaning up the house till spick & span and spending time with Little Pixie, which do you think I'd rather do?
Gremlin: I have people to clean up after me - my grandma, my ma, my maid. I don't have to do all these things.
[CP rolls eyes]
This Gremlin has loads of dietary restrictions. The only vegetables he eats are canned mushrooms & potatoes (yes, I looked this horrified when I first found out).
Canton Pixie: I bought you carrot cake for breakfast.Gremlin: Not eating
Canton Pixie: Why?
Gremlin: Cuz I don't like the garnishes on top.
Canton Pixie: So what do you want?
Gremlin: Instant noodles
[CP cooks instant noodles, trying not to recoil at the amount of junk that this little boy is feeding on]
Dinnertime
Canton Pixie creates some Thai-style fried kuay teow for all, and Airport bought some cereal prawns for everyone.
Tin Hang Zai: Why aren't you eating the prawns?
Gremlin: Because there is no one to peel the prawns for me.
[Stunned silence round the table]
Airport: Gosh! Welcome to Boot Camp.
[Tin Hang Zai patiently tries to teach Gremlin how to peel the prawn].
After 3D2N of this, I just about had enough. But I felt guilty too, because I had been harsh with my words. So this is what happened on the last morning:
[Gremlin wakes up]
Canton Pixie: I'm so sorry Gremlin.
Gremlin: For what?
Canton Pixie: For being so harsh with you.
[Gremlin bursts into tears and sobs and cries for what seems like half an hour, but is actually about 15 min. The awkward Pixie runs to the kitchen in between, checking on his instant noodle breakfast on the stove and giving him pieces of tissue paper, not knowing what to do or say]
Canton Pixie: Er, so what did I do that hurt you so much?
Gremlin: You told me not to touch anything at your mom's place.
[CP: Stunned. So the harsh words did nothing to him at all! Goes on to explain why Gremlin shouldn't be touching things without being asked at strangers' homes. Gremlin understands.]
[CP & G proceed to chat about baking, about ovens, about Gremlin's mom and grandma. Suddenly, Gremlin bursts into tears again]
Canton Pixie: Why don't you ask them to buy you an oven so that you can bake yourself at home?
Gremlin: *sob sob* They won't buy for me. They'll say 'no'. All they ever do is to say 'no'.
Canton Pixie: Have you asked them before?
Gremlin: I don't dare to ask them. But they will say no. All they care about is that the house is not messed up. Everything I do has to be done on newspapers laid across the table so that things are not messed up. *sob sob*.
[CP: Gulps. Recalls that everything that Gremlin had done had always been labelled as 'useless' by his caregivers]
[Gremlin's mom calls and CP is glad to end the episode on good terms with Gremlin].
The experience was thought-provoking for me.
Are these the inevitable products of the modern-day dual-income family that just wants the 'best' school, the 'best' tuition centre, the 'best' enrichment programme for their kids?
Demanding, self-centred kids who are always expecting things to be done for them?
Unable to sit still and be at peace with themselves, even for a while?
Unable to self-entertain, always expecting and waiting for TV programmes, computer games, etc to be downloaded into their otherwise-blank minds and idle bodies? (he gets tired after 10 mins at the playground, preferring instead to exercise his fingers on the joystick)
What will these kids become in future? Disengaged individuals lacking ambition, lacking even the desire to at least give their dreams a shot? Individuals destined for a life of mediocrity because they have never been given a chance to dream their own dreams?
Money can't buy everything. Certainly not fortitude of character, and certainly not values or life skills.
P.S. We made 2 batches of cookies - this batch (with icing) and Baking 911's Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies. Gremlin refused to take any of the latter because "not crunchy". *roll eyes* I already SAID they were CHEWY cookies!!
5 comments:
hi Canton Pixie, after reading your post, I have to go hug my two boys!
I realised that I am really blessed with two great kids! Their teachers and my friends have always told me that I am so lucky to have them...but I always brush this aside...subconsciously, I didn't even want to acknowledge it...as I always think they are just like any other child. From now on, I am going to constanly remind myself to appreciate them more...to look at their good points, rather than my usual bad habit of magnifying their weak points!
I admire your patience and tolerance, I wonder how harsh I could get if I were in your position. poor Gremlin, it's really not his fault that he behaves this way...if only if.... **sigh*** (I do hope my comments will not offend anyone?)
wah. your 8yr old gremlin is going to have a seriously distorted view of the real world.
hallo HHB,
indeed i agree with ur friends that your two boys are lovely!! say hi to them for me!
my nephew is a major reason why i wanted so much to be a SAHM when I had little Pixie!
and u inspire me so much with your lovely creations! :)
imp, u r very right. i heard from my friend that her niece is exactly the same. very demanding, keeps expecting people to entertain them all the time. this is the future of our country.
Hello Canton Pixie!
Ya I agree that kids nowadays can be demanding. (But I wonder if we were the same when we were young.) My 8 yr old niece can be demanding too on days when she's tired but she's generally great fun too be with! Still that innocently cute and very witty..... =)
Btw, my itchysole blog is up and running again. Yeah! And I must try ur Foccacia Recipe one fine day. Did u use All-purpose flour or bread flour?
ItchySole
hi ItchySole,
I had been checking on your blog and waiting for you to post again!
For the spelt flour, it was wholegrain, for the plain one, it was all-purpose flour.
Spelt flour & wholemeal flour are interchangeable, so if you want to eat healthier, you can use wholemeal flour for this. Let me know how it goes!
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