I'm Grateful For Family

As much as I'm always making jibes at my family, in times like these, I'm really thankful that they are my family and that I'm part of theirs!

When the Grim's mother (ie my grandmother) passed away, and she had to be at the wake for like 5 days, Little Pixie and I were suddenly stuck without lunch for a few days.

I had to er, start cutting apron strings in a hurry, and it was really no joke trying to cook 3 big meals and snacks - breakfast, lunch, dinner and teatime on just one day.

I capitulated the other 4 days - we simply ate out! -
Since I'm allergic to every other dish in the hawker centre - all we had was Bee Tai Mak and more Bee Tai Mak!

When we couldn't stand it anymore, we leeched on the Goose!! (Gosh do I feel like a vermin now)

When I was younger, I used to make fun of them and grumble about all their idiosyncracies, irritating or annoying behaviour. But, time goes by, there are ups and downs in life - and as cliched as it may sound - they look more and more beautiful through the untinted glasses of adversity and maturity.

I can't imagine how the Grim really handles the following:
- babysits 2 kids for a pittance (24 x 7 - the kids go home for a few hours every Sunday)
- cooks lunch for Adult Baby (that's me) and Little Pixie on schooldays (that's 5 days a week!)
- insists on doing household chores herself after kids sleep, refuses even part-time maid,
- insists on cooking dinner for the entire household 5 nights a week.

I can't imagine either how the Goose takes care of:
- cooking 5 nights a week for a household of VERY FUSSY EATERS who won't eat anything green and who eat at different times of the night, from 5pm to 9pm.
- babysits 2 VERY FUSSY KIDS
- being the primary caregiver for a high-needs senior
- waking up every hour each night to tend to the Gnome's needs, and never making up for her lost sleep by taking day naps
- wanting to do everything herself despite having a capable and kind domestic helper

I don't think the Goose has an easier job than the Grim just because she has a helper and the Grim doesn't. I think both have it real tough. And I've learnt to really appreciate them, and the love that is written all over their sacrifices and acts for the family (despite all their fogey demeanours that inspired their respective nicknames!!!).

I've just undergone what turned out to be a rather not-so-minor surgery on my tummy. Doctor says part of my tummy muscle's been damaged - so no exercise allowed for the next 3 months. Don't want to burst the wound!

Tin Hang Zai had the wisdom to suggest I do so during the March hols, and he was so sweet to take a week's leave to care for me.

I'm so grateful to everyone because Little Pixie got to attend the Goose Daycare (meals, nap, bath - what more could I ask???) for the entire week after I was operated on. Grim Daycare was out because the 2 charges inside were sick from a virus. This left Tin Hang Zai free to be my house-helper since I couldn't really move around!

And get this, I got homecooked steamed fish & vegetables & rice & tonic soup from Goose Tingkat Services daily for lunch & dinner, delivered by the Tin Hang Zai Courier Services which also provided Little Pixie's transport to the Goose Daycare. And since the Goose Tingkat doesn't operate on weekends, I was certainly very blessed to have hot meals, ALLERGY-FREE from Grim Tingkat.

The list doesn't end there.

Cosmo came to visit me and kindly donated her hand-me-up magazines, and I had friends (you know who you are: - Miss Quiet, Miss Intellectual, Miss Music, Miss Salmon, Miss Koala, and Miss J) who prayed for me and kept me company with your smses.

Lastly, I had received another cake order for the Pixie Fudge-Frosted Chocolate Cake this weekend but really did not feel up to it. So Airport agreed to help me fulfil the order!

Thank You to my Friends and Family!

I really thank God for you all!

Bento Breakfasts

Niceties introduced me to the concept of bentos. For various reasons (HFMD, Tin Hang Zai coming home too late, etc) , I've not been making dinners or lunches and have been depending on the Veteran's kindness for lunches and dinners (bless her heart).

Inspired by Niceties and Lunch-In-A-Box and Just Bento, I decided that since I wasn't making decent lunches and dinners for my two charges at home, I might as well focus my efforts on making nice bento-breakfasts that can double up as tea-time snacking and pre-dinner munchies for Tin Hang Zai's frequent late nights at work. (Plus make him feel special and pampered)

Menu for today:
Me - homemade wholemeal bread with NTUC-'s minimal-trans-fat and lactose-free margarine (since I'm allergic to butter now) and organic sausages from NTUC Finest
Little Pixie - Homemade wholemeal bread kosong with a slice of orange and homemade applesauce raisin wholemeal muffin
Tin Hang Zai - Homemade wholemeal bread with margarine and jam, whole orange minus 1 slice and homemade applesauce raisin wholemeal muffin

I was cheated by the Durian Man!!!

Little Pixie and I were on our way to the Goose's Place. As we were going into the lift, this honest-looking man with a heavy Malaysian accent accosted me, telling me he was delivering durians in the neighbourhood and had excess to sell. He claimed he was from Yong Peng, and had these branded durians to let go.

I was in a hurry, and thought I'd buy the Goose and the Gnome some durians just to make them happy. The hawker said he'd come up to the Goose's place to show us the durians.

Well, he and his "accomplice" opened up two durians that smelled fantastic - even the Goose (who usually has NOTHING nice to say about anything) said they were ok, and so I bought both for a whopping $22!!!!

The other side of the durians were either rotten or unripe, totally inedible. Not to mention leaving a sour taste in our mouths.

Once again, I have learnt not to ever buy things from hawkersI don't trust again. Later that weekend, a trip to my regular (and HONEST) fruit man turned up 5 packs of fantastic durians for $10!!!

The Sun, the Sea and the Sand

Isn't this beautiful? I really like the weather at East Coast. There's really nothing like lazing by the beach, listening to the sounds of the sea and the planes and watching the sailboats go by...

We've got Hand Foot Mouth Disease (HFMD)!!!

So I had been diagnosed with multiple food allergies, and then I had been spending this hiatus learning how to prepare edible allergy-free food from my mom.

And I had been training for a 10km run. And enjoying life without allergy attacks.

Day 1
I felt I somehow wasn't in top form when running. I shrugged it off. I had a mysterious-looking rash on my arm after jogging, which I blamed on a caterpillar that had fallen onto me whilst jogging. I was nursing a very very slight cough that sounded like Airport's cough after he came back from Spain.

Day 2
Little Pixie came back from her Bible Study Children's Group sniffling. And I still didn't feel well enough to do Pilates, let alone run. Little Pixie developed a fever out of the blue.

Day 3
We panicked when Little Pixie's fever continued. I had a ulcer! And I saw a 1-mm ulcer on her tongue! Tin Hang Zai was convinced the hypochondriac me was seeing things. The doctor told us to go back the next day to confirm either way.

Day 4
Confirmed HFMD!!! Little Pixie's fever hadn't gone down, and the rashes-on-hands-and-feet still hadn't appeared. But she had sores inside her mouth.

Day 5
My cough and mysterious rash still hadn't gone away. I was feeling quite ill all over. I developed a nose-block, and post-nasal drip.... similar to symptoms of an allergy attack.

Day 6 (Today)
Little Pixie has rashes all over her face & tummy & back but nothing on arms & feet! We rushed to the doctor's again. He said it's all part of the HFMD. He found sores in my mouth!! So I have HFMD too!!

I can't help blaming myself for this spate of events. I have always assumed that because I'm a SAHM and Little Pixie doesn't go to childcare yet, we'd be safe from all these........... but....

So now we're resting at home, feasting on bread, ice-cream and sweets (the classic cure).

There's a Big Hero who's now bustling around the house looking after his two angels.

Everybody please stock up on Dettol!!

Food Allergy Attacks!

For the longest of time, I only knew I had serious lactose intolerance. I just didn't think it was anything more than that - a simple intolerance which could be easily rectified by taking lactase enzymes if I so wanted. I continued feasting on my own homemade butter cookies and goodies.

After a lot of reading up over the past few years and months, I came to the realisation that the occasional bout of "allergic rhinitis", respiratory and skin ailments that had plagued me all my life - was not triggered by just my environment, but also (horrors) by my food.

I had settled on two possible tests - the ALCAT test and the ELISA test, as early as last year. My preference was the ELISA test - but the only place I knew which carried this test here was this rather sleazy-looking importer of fish oil, without even a qualified doctor on its premises. So I didn't do anything for almost a year. By a sheer stroke of God's providence, Tin Hang Zai's boss has a super-allergic daughter too, who had once done the same test which I sought - at this place at Gleneagles - the Gilead Ear Nose & Throat Centre. (what an apt name!)

After 2 months, my blood test results came out. Tin Hang Zai and I were overjoyed for a few hours (finally!!! I can stop eating foods that make me sick!) ... and then the reality set in.

Here's the list:

Severely Allergic

• Eggs (think: Char Kway Teow, Carrot Cake, Oyster Omelette, McDonald's Breakfasts, Sunny-side eggs, pandan chiffon cakes, lor mee, egg prata...goodness, all the things I love!)
  
• Milk and all its derivatives - I have to check if prata is cooked in vegetable oil or in ghee !! (ghee is a milk derivative)
  No more chicken-in-a-biskit! Loads of snacks are now out! And no more KFC coleslaw!)
  
• Vanilla (can you believe it?? So even all my homemade biscuits, cookies, muffins, pancakes and cakes which were already egg-free and milk-free had also been poisoning me because of the vanilla essence!!!) - I found out that even commercial versions of all the Chinese kuehs (9-layer cake, wa ko kueh, pak tong ko, fatt kueh) all use vanilla!!
• Banana (ok, I can still live without this)
  
• Asparagus (ok, I can still live without this)

Moderately Allergic

• Cabbage - uh oh, there goes all my favourite dishes like fried bee hoon from the market (which has sesame oil & oyster sauce too), no more KFC coleslaw!
  
• Cucumber (so it wasn't the wheat or yeast in that Subway sandwich that made me sick, it was the cucumber!!)
  
• Pineapple (there goes my Hawaiian pizza, which is already minus-the-cheese-and-milk, or that Wu-Xiang Xia Bing Sauce!)
  
• Oyster
  
• Sesame Can you find a tze-char dish that doesn't have either oyster sauce or sesame oil!?!?! Or any other Chinese food for that matter? If it's not in the gravy (think Char Siew Rice, Duck rice, Bak Chor Mee, Lor Mee), it's in the marinade (chicken rice), or in the soup (pig trotters vinegar) or in the sauce (Wu Xiang Xia Bing, Rojak)
  

Have you fainted yet? Help! I'm losing weight much faster than I'm eating!

God is a Matchmaker! (Part 2 of 2)

Lasik and I have known each other for, er... 18 years. (!!!!!)

She first knew me as a flirt (I think). Perhaps one of the class muggertoads (hey! This was Muggertoads Girls' School what!)

I don't know if she was also a muggertoad. But I first knew her (and remembered her!) as the tall girl at the back who complained that my cough (real) sounded fake!

Lasik is the most conscientious and precise person I know. You can really depend on her to see things through. And I mean, REALLY see things through. And she is a dear friend to me. And she has been through some really miraculous times as well. And, after 18 years, she still looks like the way she did 18 years ago!

Meeting Mr Corny-and-sometimes-bad-Jokes for the first time was a funny experience. He's one of those folks who makes you feel that it's okay to make jibes at him about his erm, physique. But he is a very deep guy as well, as I found out over the past year or so.

Even though his jokes can be really bad, he does seem like the Creator's perfect "let your hair down" complement to Lasik's "we MUST get it RIGHT" style.

Congrats, Lasik & Mr Corny-and-sometimes-bad-Jokes !!!

God is a Matchmaker!! (Part 1 of X)

Do you believe in miracles? I do. This is one of them.

I've known Miss Sweet-and-Gentle-Spirit
since, er, 2001. She is the prettiest, er, school chaplain I have ever seen, and she has the most beautiful heart too. Full of compassion, empathy, and all the good things you can ever think of.

Our Prison Group was very sad to see her go when God called her to the mission field. I supposed she was one of those that Paul referred to in Corinthians about "making eunuchs of themselves" - because whilst I had never doubted her attractiveness as a potential mate, I had never heard her mention anything about desiring marriage. So I assumed that she, well, wasn't interested.

Indeed, Miss Intellectual told us that when she went to the mission field, she "gave up", because you couldn't imagine finding a mate in that particular field. Turns out, God had other plans. It sounded exactly like what I read about in this book.

Guess what, the Honest Guy whom our Matchmaker had prepared for her (and her for him) appeared miraculously in that place, for a medical appointment that never happened! Instead it was an appointment with the Master Surgeon - who was showing him the "rib" that had been taken out of him!

Each was all that the other had been praying and waiting for all these years. And more.

Can you imagine waiting for "the one" till you are 37 or 42? She who had never believed in whirlwind romances has been blessed by our humorous God in the "twinkling of an eye".

We are all so excited!

The day I did something nasty to my good friend...

L is my good friend since 2002, when we were both working with the straitjacket organisation.

Values & Friends
Over the years, I have come to realise that those I remain friends with, people you "pick up where you left off", tend to be people who share the same values, ethics and principles as me, whether in personal relationships or at the workplace. L is one such person.

Crossroads
Last November, I was at the "crossroads of Damascus", about to take a long break off a project I had been on for the best part of 2007, when I met up with L. On the spur of the moment, we decided to do a test project together, which involved his friend X. For me, it was a sort of a swan song (albeit for the time being). Reason being, as 2007 drew to a close, I had increasingly felt very distracted, and that I wasn't putting "first things first" (like what Covey says). The failure to put "first things first" was really causing me a lot of low-level anxiety and stress.

So 2008 was to be for me, a year of focusing on my "first things" - in this case, God, Tin Hang Zai, and Little Pixie.

Stress & Anger
Anyway, back to the story. As the date drew nearer to the event, "things" happened. We got stressed, and we quarrelled.

Customer Service
L told me that the event was closed to foreigners after I had confirmed & registered one such person. The reason was one of those rubbish government-body reasons, and after calling up the government hotlines, I failed to get a good reason and all I got was "we cannot answer over the phone even though this is the XXX hotline. Please send us an email". (what the @#$@#$ the event is 1 day away!)

I disagreed with L over how to handle this person. In the end, L told him that we were bumping him off because of "oversubscription". The guy was pissed, and I explained to Hedgehog (who had referred the guy to us) the real reasons.

I felt very bad about the way we handled this, so I called up Mr Foreigner to explain the real reason and to apologise once again. Mr Foreigner was super-pissed, and he said he would "never attend any event organised by your company again". I was so traumatised by the entire episode. I was!

That's when L blew up at me " why didn't you check with me first before telling your friend the real reason? "

I shot back "Excuse me! In good faith, my friends publicise my event for me because they trust in the quality of my work! Do you think you would publicise events for friends who turn out shoddy work!?!? And if there's such a customer-service boo-boo, I don't want my friends wondering why I screwed up and questioning my work ethics in future!"

L shouted "ok, whatever it is, I reserve the right to make the FINAL decision on the event tomorrow".

With that, I shut up, clammed up, and completely disengaged myself emotionally from the event. I refused to participate anymore, or to try to contribute anything more. Since he wanted control of the final decision, fine, I'd just take instructions and not try to be smart.

It turned out that Mr Foreigner was actually working in a VERY IMPORTANT COMPANY and well, I don't dare to think about the potential biz we could have gained (but which we had now lost). L said "we already got 50 participants what, why you bother about that one guy?". *I rolled my eyes.* One deal from this VERY IMPORTANT COMPANY was worth many of the type of participants we were getting. And I mean, many.

Anger, Rage & Revenge
I was consumed with anger the next day. But it was no excuse for what I ended up doing to L. It_was_NO_excuse. When he asked for any words from me in closing the event, I had nothing to say. I was blinded by rage.

L said "you want to say something?"
I said "something".

I was blind to the 50 plus audience around.

WL tried to smooth things over for me by saying "she means, thank you".

I felt very guilty about it. I had a huge quarrel with L after the event, over this and over other issues.

Forgiveness & Grace
And I apologised to L and asked for his forgiveness. L forgave me, and I'm so grateful. But it doesn't stop me from feeling so guilty that I did that to my friend. I mean, whatever he did that made me mad, I had NO excuse to humiliate him, or embarrass myself in that way. I was not only sabotaging him, I was projecting a very poor image of myself at the same time. And I am feeling SOOOOO guilty. That's why I'm blogging about this to get the nasties out of my system.

Our friendship was salvaged. Thank God! A good friend who shares the same ethics, values and principles in life & work is hard to come by. Harder still is someone who forgives you after you have done something as mean as I did to L. And I nearly lost this friend out of my own doing!

But the feelings of regret, and guilt I now have, is certainly not worth the empty feelings of whatever fake triumph that limp attempt at revenge gave me.

I am so humbled by this whole episode. I really am....

Our First Day at "School"

I titled this as "Our" because it was equally 'traumatic' for me. Being a bit unrealistic about timing as usual, I thought I'd be going jogging after dropping Little Pixie off at her first day at Flexi-Care. (Beats me why they call it "flexi" since there is nothing flexible about it. You turn up from 0900-1200 every day, is there anything flexible about this!?!?!). And then have a leisurely breakfast, followed by grocery shopping at the wet market, and then prepare a "lunch from scratch", maybe even do some quiet time alone (peace! silence!) and come to pick her up. It couldn't have been further from reality!

For some months now, she has been displaying signs that she was 'ready' to socialise. Always the first one to say "hi" or to hug stranger kids on the streets, I thought it was time for Little Pixie to get to know more kids. (That was my only goal for this programme - other than that, I have no intention of hothousing her, and would like to try my hand at home-schooling, after my dear friend Clare pointed me to her friend who is homeschooling FOUR kids!!)

Little Pixie was overwhelmed by the number of new faces around her. Especially since it was her nap-time and she was outdoors at a time when she was supposed to be happily snoozing at home. And the fact that other kids were wailing and crying their hearts out (one girl cried for more than 2 hours straight after her mother left her there and was still crying when I left) seemed to make her think that there really was something to cry about. And cry she did! There was no way I could leave the centre to do all the aforementioned errands! (Hey I didn't even eat my breakfast!! And forget about the dinner I'd planned to cook!)

Bringing her her Linus bolster was a bad idea. Some rogue kid (who punches every other child in turn) snatched it from her and she cried. And didn't stop till I took her home half hour before time. After a quick trip to the market to buy lunch and leftovers at the butcher, feeding her, I was BEAT. I didn't know that listening to 4 kids crying for 3 hours can be so tiring and I have a newfound respect for those childcare teachers. They are indeed overworked, underpaid!

Hopefully, tomorrow will be better....

The blessing of my brother and sister...

I'm reflecting on the year that has just gone by. Even though my family is far from perfect, and the Veterans have the typical dysfunctionalities of person their generation, I'm very thankful that I also have two very great siblings who have been the source of many blessings to me.

Amongst all my friends, it seems few, or none of them are actually close to their siblings. So I don't take it for granted that I can talk to Cosmo about anything under the sun (especially those gross things like what happens when you get L.S.), and call her up at crazy hours (and vice versa) and that Airport is always so kind with little favours and lending a hand with everything - from babysitting Little Pixie so that we could go have a foot reflexology session, watch a midnight movie, and buying groceries, and most recently, letting us take a holiday to visit Cosmo with his free air miles.

And without Airport, I could not have come up with the most recent cheesecake "creations".

Take this wonderful oven. I only realised after recent trips to the shops that at 42L, it's almost twice as large as most of the ovens on sale now.

Cosmo bought it for me as a wedding gift 5 years ago. I had no idea then what a good deal it was, seeing that we had ordered it in some sleazy neighbourhood shop on the recommendations of an "auntie" friend. What's more, I didn't even know a thing about baking 5 years ago, and didn't know a cupcake from a muffin, or flour from cornstarch.

5 years down, and a Little Pixie later, it has become one of the things I absolutely can't live without in my kitchen - next to the washing machine. It is THE most important kitchen cooking tool for a lazy, smoke-averse cook who also happens to hang her laundry in the kitchen! And I am not the only fan of the oven. So is Little Pixie who runs to the kitchen each time something edible comes out of the oven.

Thank you Cosmo and Airport!

The day I hurt a Brat...

I really regretted inviting Gremlin for a stayover. But I did learn a thing or two about humility and the power of saying sorry.

An excerpt from a 3D2N experience with a disengaged 8-year-old.

Gremlin: A. Pixie, what are you going to do for me? What programmes have you planned for me? How am I going to get entertained?

Canton Pixie: I thought we agreed that we'd do cookies & the icing thingy, and then after I finish my household chores we can do other things, if we still have time.

Gremlin: But I AM VERY BORED! I AM SO BORED! Don't you have any thing for me to play? What's there for me? What's there for me?

[CP does some work on her laptop, replies some email, then quickly rushes to kitchen to hang laundry]

Gremlin: What are you doing?

Canton Pixie: Hanging laundry

Gremlin: Why can't we go to West Mall NOW?

Canton Pixie: I need to finish hanging the laundry so that I can do the next load.

Gremlin: Why can't you do them after I am gone? Why were you on the computer just now? Why couldn't you work on your computer after I'm gone? Why do we have to wait for Little Pixie to have her nap? Why can't you take me to West Mall and leave Little Pixie at home to sleep alone? I want to go to West Mall NOW!

[CP: Gets really irritated]

Canton Pixie: Look, why don't YOU play your computer games after you go home? Why must you play them now?

[Gremlin falls silent, speechless].

Gremlin: A. Pixie, your house is very messy you know? Why don't you clean it up?

Canton Pixie: Have you ever wondered who is the one picking up after you when you eat, bake those cookies, drink water? If I have to choose between cleaning up the house till spick & span and spending time with Little Pixie, which do you think I'd rather do?

Gremlin: I have people to clean up after me - my grandma, my ma, my maid. I don't have to do all these things.

[CP rolls eyes]

This Gremlin has loads of dietary restrictions. The only vegetables he eats are canned mushrooms & potatoes (yes, I looked this horrified when I first found out).

Canton Pixie: I bought you carrot cake for breakfast.

Gremlin: Not eating

Canton Pixie: Why?

Gremlin: Cuz I don't like the garnishes on top.

Canton Pixie: So what do you want?

Gremlin: Instant noodles

[CP cooks instant noodles, trying not to recoil at the amount of junk that this little boy is feeding on]

Dinnertime
Canton Pixie creates some Thai-style fried kuay teow for all, and Airport bought some cereal prawns for everyone.

Tin Hang Zai: Why aren't you eating the prawns?

Gremlin: Because there is no one to peel the prawns for me.

[Stunned silence round the table]

Airport: Gosh! Welcome to Boot Camp.

[Tin Hang Zai patiently tries to teach Gremlin how to peel the prawn].

After 3D2N of this, I just about had enough. But I felt guilty too, because I had been harsh with my words. So this is what happened on the last morning:

[Gremlin wakes up]

Canton Pixie: I'm so sorry Gremlin.

Gremlin: For what?

Canton Pixie: For being so harsh with you.

[Gremlin bursts into tears and sobs and cries for what seems like half an hour, but is actually about 15 min. The awkward Pixie runs to the kitchen in between, checking on his instant noodle breakfast on the stove and giving him pieces of tissue paper, not knowing what to do or say]

Canton Pixie: Er, so what did I do that hurt you so much?

Gremlin: You told me not to touch anything at your mom's place.

[CP: Stunned. So the harsh words did nothing to him at all! Goes on to explain why Gremlin shouldn't be touching things without being asked at strangers' homes. Gremlin understands.]

[CP & G proceed to chat about baking, about ovens, about Gremlin's mom and grandma. Suddenly, Gremlin bursts into tears again]

Canton Pixie: Why don't you ask them to buy you an oven so that you can bake yourself at home?

Gremlin: *sob sob* They won't buy for me. They'll say 'no'. All they ever do is to say 'no'.

Canton Pixie: Have you asked them before?

Gremlin: I don't dare to ask them. But they will say no. All they care about is that the house is not messed up. Everything I do has to be done on newspapers laid across the table so that things are not messed up. *sob sob*.

[CP: Gulps. Recalls that everything that Gremlin had done had always been labelled as 'useless' by his caregivers]

[Gremlin's mom calls and CP is glad to end the episode on good terms with Gremlin].

The experience was thought-provoking for me.

Are these the inevitable products of the modern-day dual-income family that just wants the 'best' school, the 'best' tuition centre, the 'best' enrichment programme for their kids?

Demanding, self-centred kids who are always expecting things to be done for them?

Unable to sit still and be at peace with themselves, even for a while?

Unable to self-entertain, always expecting and waiting for TV programmes, computer games, etc to be downloaded into their otherwise-blank minds and idle bodies? (he gets tired after 10 mins at the playground, preferring instead to exercise his fingers on the joystick)

What will these kids become in future? Disengaged individuals lacking ambition, lacking even the desire to at least give their dreams a shot? Individuals destined for a life of mediocrity because they have never been given a chance to dream their own dreams?

Money can't buy everything. Certainly not fortitude of character, and certainly not values or life skills.

P.S. We made 2 batches of cookies - this batch (with icing) and Baking 911's Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies. Gremlin refused to take any of the latter because "not crunchy". *roll eyes* I already SAID they were CHEWY cookies!!

Health is really wealth...

Goodness me, I've been sick for more than a month!

A seemingly innocent trip with Little Pixie to the Botanic Gardens did me in. I came down with what I thought was flu - but the doc said it was an allergy.

I had it bad. Cough, post-nasal drip, couldn't breath!

I was almost getting better - and then had a 'relapse' after eating homemade sandwiches!!

I'd forgotten that when you have an allergic reaction - you have to stay away from ALL possible allergens - even if you're not usually sensitive to them in the first place! For me, this turned out to be bread.

It turned out that my relapse was due to the HUGE amounts of wheat and yeast I was eating - because I'd been in a bread-baking frenzy after getting to know Happy Homebaker.

Indeed, health is really wealth. I don't think I want to stinge on food anymore - the amount of money I saved from buying cheap, lousy food in an effort to be a better household budgeter was pittance compared to what the 5 doctor visits cost me this time round!

Thankfully, I also found another blogger who has experience in all these food intolerances etc!
Check out Main Main Masak Masak for all these fantastic healthy ideas!

Families and Illnesses....

The Gnome had been in hospital for a gruelling month or so, got out, and then went in again. The 2nd time, it was for his surgery on the brain, which took over 12 hours. From what I could decipher, it involved opening up the brain, and then inserting some battery over his heart to be powered or something like that. Sounded very frightening to me, given his age.

They were also having problems with Wati - a good maid-turned-bad.

Over the course of the last couple of months, the Goose seemed to have aged a lot.

Chronic illnesses take a terrible toll on families. The Goose insisted on rushing daily from TTSH in Novena to home in Yew Tee to cook for the Gremlins. I felt like boxing the Gremlins and giving them a piece of my mind because the purported reason was that the Gremlins refused to eat Economic Rice bought from outside - because they "looked like vomit". I don't know where these kids get their perspectives from . But you have to know, this Gremlin takes 2 hours to eat dinner because he is simultaneously watching CartoonNetwork, has to reheat his soup 4 times in the microwave because he dislikes cold soup, and can't hear you while he eats dinner.

The Gnome's temperament had gone haywire. After the operation - he seemed to have lost his emotions and took out all his frustration and anger on the Goose. I think the Goose finally stopped trying to cook for the Gremlins.

Two weeks ago, I brought Little Pixie via MRT from Bukit Batok to Novena. I burnt off an entire day's worth of meals just carrying her 3.5kg stroller on one shoulder, 5kg bag on another shoulder, 9kg Little Pixie on one arm, and swiping the MRT card on the other arm.

Once at Novena, I was rather miffed because people at the 2-way gate refused to give way to me, a stroller-toting, baby-carrying mother. They, the single commuters without any wheelchairs, prams or what-have-yous as excuses to use the 2-way gate, just kept swiping their cards at the opposite direction, preventing me from getting out of the freaking station. I had to jump in and pounce on the swipe whilst there was a split-second gap between 2 SINGLE commuters rushing to use the 2-way gate, before the gate would turn in my favour and I could finally get out.

Nice visitor to Pixieville!!

What are your values?

The typical Pixie image was that of a busy bee, running around like a headless chicken, feeling stressed out doing lots of things and accomplishing nothing.

After I read this book, I understood that the feeling of mounting desperation about not spending time on 'things that matter' (despite functioning like a hummingbird) was because the activities I used to splurge my time on weren't really reflecting my values.

So here's the template I followed:

• What issues do you get on your soapbox about? What values do they reflect?
• What makes you cross? What value is being violated to make you feel this way?
• If you asked your family and friends to describe you, what words would they use? How do these descriptions reflect your values?
• What is something that you would never do, lines you would never cross? Which values would you be violating by crossing those lines?
• In the past, when faced with tough decisions, what actions have you taken? What values did these actions reflect?

Sneak Peek:

Tidiness is NOT one of my values, but I think it IS one of Lasik's.

Epicurean (but NON-Ascetic!!!) pursuits is definitely one big value of mine. The Sun, the Sea, the Stomach and the Shops.

I burnt my Chinese Wok!!!

Oh man. So much for trying to make my own gluten-free, additive-free, wheat-free tortillas. (which, thanks to Miss Intellectual, I learnt that they are pronounced "tor tee yas" and not "tor tee lahs".

I followed some dumb instructions and tried to fry them dry by lining my wok (lovingly seasoned by the Goose earlier) with corn flour. The flour got welded onto my wok, I tried to scrub it off and now the patina is gone!!

I tried to put the patina back, but the re-seasoning process caused all my laundry (hanging in the kitchen) and the whole house to stink of corn oil, and as a result, I had to do damage-control by boiling a pot of vinegar for half an hour.

Duh!!!

This Subway sucks!!!

Subway is the Pixies' choice whenever we crave junk food and don't want to go the full-trans-fat way of McDonald's or KFC.

Usually we go to the one in Holland Village but I think we won't go there anymore!!!

Canton Pixie: Can I have my cheese packed separately?
Waiter: NO
Canton Pixie: huh? *shocked look cuz never had such a response before*
Waiter: We don't allow cuz not in our operating procedure.
Canton Pixie (firm voice): No, THAT's not true, cuz the last time I came here you did it for me!
Waiter: *shrugs* ok, actually not allowed
Canton Pixie: *rolls eyes*
Waiter: Why do you want to separate the cheese?
Canton Pixie: Because I want to eat it separately? *sarcastic tone*
Waiter: *sniggers*

This place really sucks. I've seen the male boss before - never smiles at anyone, never serves customers even when there is a long queue and all his staff are busy. Just stands behind them and stares. Even put up a sign reminding all customers to help them by clearing their own tables.

And so another friend leaves...

We have been in somewhat regular contact for 5 years. She organised my wedding. She bought me my first books on parenting when Little Pixie came along. She sent me encouragement when I did a crucial workshop.

She is the only friend who is more punctuality-challenged than I am. As impulsive and fleeting as I am.

I'm so sad to see her go. I was so bewildered by the suddenness. There was no warning. Just a week ago, she had been so enthused about a new initiative she wanted the group to consider. And this week she's changed her mind about being in this group.

There were many questions I wanted to ask.
'What about this new initiative you wanted to start?'
'Is there a new guy out there?'
'Is your official reason real?'
'Is there something you're hiding from us?'

But I didn't bother to. I could see her mind was made up. And if she'd wanted to answer all those un-asked questions, she would have.

Did the Great Shepherd tell her to go? Afterall He had led the rest before her. But with the rest - He'd given us ample warning. They told us way before that He was calling them elsewhere. With her - it was a bombshell. Lightning bolt out of the literal blue.

I feel resigned. God's will has no why. And I will take Lasik's advice and just "let things be".

When God takes away, He gives us better things instead. Better things will come.

Withdrawal symptoms

One of the features of being a SAHM is that your sense of self-worth is constantly being assaulted.

Some of the remarks Airport & Cosmo have been guilty of passing:

"Since you have nothing to do, why don't you run these errands?"
"Since you are so free, why don't you help me call up XXX?"
"Why are you so tired? You are so free what?"

However, nothing beats what Longkang Fish, a nasty ex-colleague said.
"Canton Pixie, how's life? So, are you having withdrawal symptoms, now that you are doing nothing at home?"

What the !#$#@!#$??