Little Shop of Horrors

Bedtime
Jr: [gasp!]
CP: What's up?
Jr: Little Pixie doesn't need to be rocked to sleep!
CP: Er...
Jr: Gremlins do!

Entertaining Gremlins
G: Auntie CP, can I turn on the TV? Little Pix will like it.
CP: No, the Pixies don't like TV.
G: But without TV it's so boring you know.
CP: [blank look]
G: I NEED to watch TV now lah. I do it everyday.
G: I followed my mom to the office. It was so terrible you know. I had to stand on the train for 45 min! And when I reached her office, she asked me to do something so boring. Like remove staples from paper.

I need a nap!
CP: I need a nap, I'm going to lie on the sundeck and snooze.
G: OK [sits on sofa and stares at CP while she is trying to snooze]
CP: What are you doing here?
G: Nothing [embarrassed grin]
CP: OK, let me sleep, I'm tired
G: [silence for 5 min] Auntie CP, are you rested now, can you help me cut stickers?
CP: Nope, I'm still very tired, I'm going to sleep
G: [after another 5 min] Auntie CP, have you slept enough yet? Why not you help me cut my stickers?
CP: [roll eyes] I'm very tired.
G: [after 10 mins] Auntie CP, have you finished sleeping yet? Maybe what you need is water.
CP: NO

Children's Books (Almost Verbatim!!)
Crow & Magpie
The Crow was unpopular amongst the animals, he wanted the Magpie to teach him how to sing. The Magpie agreed only after he had thought of a way to kill the crow. The Crow was happy about finally learning how to sing. The Magpie told him to drink only dew for 7 days. He did. After 7 days he died. Moral of story: can't remember

The Stupid Donkey
The donkey was carrying a heavy bag of salt and about to cross a bridge across a river. He fell into the river, the salt dissolved, and the bags were lighter. He was happy. The next day, he was carrying a bag of cotton wool and when he reached the river, he jumped into it instead of crossing the bridge. The cotton wool soaked up all the water, made the bags very heavy and he drowned. Moral of story: can't remember

The Horse & the Donkey
The proud racehorse bred on premium feed was always taunting the donkey for eating plain grass. The donkey kept quiet. One day, the horse was carried past the donkey with all 4 legs tied up. He told the donkey he'd broken a leg, was useless as a racehorse, and was going to slaughtered for me. Asked the donkey to help him. The donkey gave him a blank look. The horse was killed. Moral of story: Pride doesn't pay.